A Christmas Poem from a Therapist

A softly glowing candle on a wooden shelf, symbolizing calm and reflection during the holiday season

The lights are twinkling, the presents are wrapped,

Yet an unsettling anxiety means your emotions are capped.

The fire is roaring, yet the rain it falls down,

you're reminded "it's a season for joy"- not a frown.

Whether your family is waiting to interrogate you,

Or loneliness looms, feeling lost, not knowing what to do.

It's a season of emotion, both big and small,

those little triggers for one and for all.

So I want to remind you to be kind to yourself,

Do something fun, take a breath, watch the flicker of a candle on the shelf.

A season of darkness, the nights are wet and cold,

yet glimmers of joy are in moments we hold.

Party or hibernate, the season so varied,

enjoy the small moments, where hope can be carried.

Write it all down when you feel happy or sad,

Then come to therapy in the new year and I'll stick it in my notepad!

by Hannah Kendell

Understanding Holiday Anxiety and Emotional Triggers

The holidays can be a time of mixed emotions. On one hand, there is excitement and celebration. On the other, anxiety and stress can quietly build. This happens for several reasons:

• Family dynamics: Some family gatherings bring pressure, judgment, or difficult conversations that feel like interrogations.

• Loneliness: For those without close family or friends nearby, the season can highlight feelings of isolation.

• Unrealistic expectations: Media and culture often portray the holidays as purely joyful, which can make anyone struggling feel out of place.

• Sensory overload: Bright lights, loud music, and crowded events can overwhelm the senses and increase stress.

  
  

Recognizing these triggers is the first step toward managing them. It’s normal to experience a range of emotions, from joy to sadness, excitement to anxiety. Accepting this emotional complexity helps reduce self-judgment.

Practical Ways to Be Kind to Yourself

When emotions feel capped or overwhelming, self-kindness becomes essential. Here are some ways to care for yourself during the holidays:

• Set boundaries: It’s okay to limit time with family or skip events that feel draining.

• Create small rituals: Light a candle, listen to calming music, or take a quiet walk to ground yourself.

• Practice mindful breathing: Even a few deep breaths can reduce anxiety and help you stay present.

• Engage in enjoyable activities: Watch a favourite movie, read a book, or try a new hobby to bring moments of fun.

• Reach out for support: Talk to a friend, if feelings become too heavy.

Finding Joy in Small Moments

Joy during the holidays does not have to come from grand celebrations or perfect gatherings. Often, it is found in small, quiet moments:

• Watching the flicker of a candle on a shelf

• Savouring a warm drink

• Noticing the beauty nature outside your window or on a walk

• Sharing a smile or kind word with someone else

  
  

These moments carry hope and light, even in the darkest, coldest nights. They remind us that joy can coexist with difficult feelings.

Balancing Socializing and Rest

The holiday season offers a wide range of ways to spend your time. Some people thrive in social settings, while others need solitude to recharge. Both are valid choices.

• If you enjoy parties, plan breaks to step outside or find a quiet space.

• If you prefer to hibernate, allow yourself that time without guilt.

• Mix social and solo activities to create a balance that feels right for you.

When Family Feels Challenging

Family gatherings can be a source of stress or anxiety. Here are some strategies to handle difficult moments:

• Prepare responses for questions or topics that feel intrusive.

• Focus on neutral subjects or shared interests to steer conversations.

• Take breaks when needed, stepping outside or to another room.

• Remember that you can leave early or skip events!

Embracing the Season’s Emotional Range

The holidays are a season of emotion, both big and small. It’s normal to experience a mix of feelings. Instead of pushing away anxiety or sadness, try to acknowledge them without judging yourself for feeling them.

Merry Christmas.

Hannah